Nutrient Information

Some Great Nutrient Information

VITAMIN & MINERAL REFERENCE GUIDE


VITAMIN A

Vitamin A was the first fat-soluble vitamin to be isolated. It was discovered in 1913 as a result of its ability to prevent night blindness and xerophthalmia (a drying and hardening of the mucous membrane that lines the eyelids). Vitamin A plays an important role in maintaining the integrity of epithelial tissue which are the mucous membrane-secreting cells that line all the glands and organs of the body. Many studies show that adequate intake of vitamin A is associated with reduced risk to various epithelial-cell cancers (mouth, skin, lungs, bladder, breast, stomach, cervix, etc.).

· Vitamin A is necessary for the eyes and vision (required for night vision). Vitamin A is also essential for the lubricant from tear glands that prevent drying of the cornea.

· Essential for the growth of bone and soft tissue. It is also necessary for the formation of tooth enamel in the development of teeth. A deficiency of Vitamin A can contribute to bone loss associated with osteoporosis.

· Immune System: Helps maintain healthy epithelial cells (surface cells of many glands, organs, and skin); helps to facilitate effective barriers to infections.

VITAMIN C

Vitamin C cures the world's oldest known nutritional deficiency disease, scurvy. It is a water-soluble vitamin that is stored in many tissues throughout the body, but the adrenal glands contain the highest concentration. Humans are one of the few species that cannot manufacture Vitamin C. We must depend on our diet, or nutritional supplements, as the source of this vitamin.

· Vitamin C is an antioxidant and is reported to have antiviral activity.

· Plays a role in the synthesis of collagen and elastin, the major structural components of skin, tendons, bone matrix, tooth dentin, blood vessels, and connective tissues between cells.

· Vitamin C is a detoxifier of heavy metal toxins such as mercury, lead, cadmium, and nickel.

· Maintains strength and elasticity of blood vessels

· Decreases free radical oxidation of cholesterol

· Functions as a histamine inhibitor

· Vitamin C is necessary for the body under abnormal stresses such as fever, burns, exposure to cold, physical trauma, fractures, high altitude and radiation all require larger doses of vitamin C.

· Vitamin C also increases the healing of scars, broken bones, burns, etc.

VITAMIN D

Vitamin D is a fat-soluble vitamin that was isolated in 1930. Vitamin D is known as the "sunshine" vitamin. It is formed in the body by the action of the sun's ultraviolet rays on the skin.

· Vitamin D is important for the development of bones and teeth. For this reason, vitamin D is an important growth nutrient for infants and children.

· It also enhances the immune system by stimulating the activity of macrophages.

· There is new evidence to suggest that Vitamin D plays a role in neuromuscular functioning in older adults and this role may have an effect on both functional performance and the risk of falls.

VITAMIN E

Vitamin E protects cell membranes from free radical reactions and peroxidation of polyunsaturated fatty acids. It is known to improve the strength of connective tissue and it enhances the function of cysteine, beta-carotene and absorption of zinc.

· Vitamin E counteracts the generation of free radicals in the skin and the subsequent acceleration of the aging process (photoaging) caused by excessive exposure to sunlight.

· Vitamin E is an antioxidant.

· It is important for the stability of cell membranes (by protecting the fatty acids in the phospholipids contained in cell membranes from oxidation).

VITAMIN B 12

Vitamin B12 was isolated from liver extract in 1948 and is an essential growth factor and plays a role in the metabolism of cells, especially those of the gastrointestinal tract, bone marrow, and nervous tissue.

· Biochemical Pathways: necessary in the synthesis of DNA. This means B12 plays a role in the replication of the genetic code and is a growth factor in all cells of the body.

· Vitamin B12 functions as a hydrogen carrier in hydrogen transfer reactions.

· Is involved in the metabolism and involved in various aspects of protein, fat, and carbohydrate metabolism.

· Vitamin B12 plays a major role in the functioning and maintenance of the nervous system.

· Is necessary for the maturation of red blood cells.

VITAMIN B7 (Biotin)

Biotin is one of the more recently discovered water-soluble B vitamins. It was first isolated in 1936, the structure was identified in 1942, and synthesized in 1943. Biotin is essential for the activity of many enzyme systems.

· Energy Production: Plays a vital role in the production of energy from the metabolism of carbohydrates and fats.

· Vitamin B7 is known as the vitamin that produces healthy hair and helps prevent graying.

· Biotin helps with "uncombable hair syndrome," a condition in children with multiple cowlicks where hair sticks up in all directions and won't lie down.

VITAMIN K

The presence of vitamin K in the body is critical for the production of numerous clotting factors and is necessary for the synthesis of osteocalcin, a unique protein in bone, which attracts calcium to bone tissue.

· Vitamin K allows blood to clot normally.

· Helps protect against osteoporosis

· Vitamin K is an antioxidant and it’s thought to protect the Liver (but not the Muscles) from Free Radicals damage and may be up to 80% as effective as Vitamin E for preventing the oxidation of Linoleic Acid.

VITAMIN B1 (Thiamine)

Vitamin B1, also known as thiamine, was the first of the B vitamins to be discovered in 1926. It plays a vital role in the conversion of blood sugar (glucose) to energy in the Krebs cycle and is involved in the synthesis of acetylcholine. Its metabolic activities primarily affect the nerves, muscles, and cardiovascular system.

· Vitamin B1 plays a role in conversion of blood sugar (glucose) into biological energy.

· Thiamine plays an essential role in energy production.

· Vitamin B1 is thought to help regulate appetite

· Vitamin B1 is important in the maintenance of muscular function, especially the heart.

· It has a roll in maintenance of nerve tissues, nerve function, and nerve transmission.

VITAMIN B2 (Riboflavin)

Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin) is essential for normal growth and development, reproduction, lactation, physical performance, and well-being. It participates in essential biochemical reactions, especially those that yield energy. Vitamin B2 is water-soluble and, like other B vitamins, it is not appreciably stored and must be supplied daily.

· Vitamin B2 is an antioxidant.

· Vitamin B2 plays a role in energy production for the body assisting the conversion of carbohydrates to ATP in the production of energy.

· Vitamin B2 / Riboflavin is necessary for growth and reproduction and the healthy growth of skin, hair, and nails.

PANTOTHENIC ACID

Pantothenic acid plays a number of essential metabolic roles including the production of some hormones and neurotransmitters, and is involved in the metabolism of all carbohydrates, fats, and proteins. It's been reported to be effective at improving abnormal lipid profiles in both adults and children. It reportedly lowers elevated triglycerides and LDL cholesterol while raising levels of the beneficial HDL cholesterol.

· Pantothenic acid helps transfer two-carbon units (acetyl groups) in a wide variety of biochemical reactions.

· Enhances the release of energy from carbohydrates in the Krebs cycle.

· Involved in synthesis of phospholipids, fats, cholesterol, and bile acids.

· Helps Red Blood Cells: Involved in synthesis of porphyrin in the hemoglobin of red blood cells.



VITAMIN B6

Pyridoxine is a water-soluble B vitamin that functions as a cofactor in more than one hundred enzyme reactions. Many of its activities are related to the metabolism of amino acids and other proteins including hemoglobin, serotonin, hormones, and prostaglandins.

· Vitamin B6 helps to prevent atherosclerosis.

· Helps Energy Production: Facilitates conversion of glycogen to glucose for energy production.

· Neurotransmitter Production: Required for the production of neurotransmitters derived from amino acids.

· Vitamin B6 is necessary for the formation of hemoglobin and the growth of red blood cells.

VITAMIN B9 (Folic Acid)

Vitamin B9 (Folic Acid) is a member of the water-soluble B vitamin group. In the body, folic acid is converted to its biologically active form tetrahydrofolic acid (THFA). Niacin and vitamin C are necessary for this conversion.

· Vitamin B9 (Folic Acid) is necessary for the synthesis of both DNA and RNA.

· It is essential for proper cellular division and the transmission of the genetic code to all newly formed cells.

· It is an important vitamin during pregnancy because it is necessary for decreased incidence of neural tube defects during pregnancy.

· Essential for the healthy maturation of red blood cells.

VITAMIN B3 (Niacin)

Vitamin B3 (Niacin) is a water-soluble B vitamin that can be synthesized in humans. Niacin containing co-enzymes play an essential role in over 200 chemical reactions in the body. Niacin, which is also known as nicotinic acid, lowers elevated blood lipids and may reduce mortality. In addition to being used alone, it has also been used in combination with cholesterol-lowering drugs to increase the lipid-lowering effect of the drug.

· Vitamin B3 reduces LDL ("bad" cholesterol) and triglycerides, and increases HDL ("good" cholesterol).

· Lowers lipoprotein (a) (Lp(a)) and fibrinogen.

· Vitamin B3 plays a role in energy production.

· Vitamin B3 (Niacin) may reduce the recurrence rate for heart attacks. One study showed reduction by nearly 30 percent at dosages of about 2 grams per day, and showed 11 percentreduced overall mortality rate

CHROMIUM

Chromium regulates the body’s Blood Sugar levels by facilitating the uptake of glucose into cells. It Increases the activity of insulin, thereby reducing the amount of insulin required to control blood sugar. It’s also thought to play a role in regulating LDL and HDL serum levels.

SELENIUM

Selenium is an essential mineral known for its antioxidant properties. The body needs selenium for normal growth and health as well as muscle protection and healthy skin. It also helps to reduce lipid peroxidation and neutralizes destructive hydrogen peroxide radicals. Selenium also potentiates the antioxidant activity of vitamin E.

· Selenium’s anti-oxidant activities enable it to protect against heart attacks and strokes.

· It has anti-viral activity and boosts the immune system.

· Selenium also helps detoxify heavy metal toxins such as mercury and cadmium from the body.

MOLYBDENUM

Molybdenum is one of the rarest substances on earth, yet small amounts of this mineral are found in nearly all tissues of the human body. Molybdenum is a component of several important metalloenzymes that participate in liver detoxification pathways. It plays an important role in the body by helping with the absorption of iron, copper, and sulfate.

MAGNESIUM

Magnesium is a co-factor in over 300 enzymatic reactions in the body. It is necessary for the transmission of nerve impulses, muscular activity, temperature regulation, detoxification reactions, and for the formation of healthy bones and teeth. It is involved in energy production and the synthesis of DNA and RNA.

A U.S. Department of Agriculture survey revealed that approximately 75 percent of Americans do not ingest the RDA of magnesium. Sub-optimal magnesium intake compromises cellular activity, especially in tissues of the heart, nerves, and kidneys. Magnesium influences many of the activities associated with a wide variety of cardiac medications. For example, magnesium inhibits platelet aggregation, thins the blood, blocks calcium uptake (like calcium channel blocking drugs), and relaxes blood vessels (like ACE inhibitors). Magnesium also increases oxygenation of the heart muscle by improving cardiac contractility.

· Magnesium influences many aspects of cardiovascular health. It decreases platelet stickiness, helps thin the blood, blocks calcium uptake, and relaxes blood vessels.

· Heart Disease: Adequate magnesium intake reduces the risk of cardiovascular disease and increases the rate of survival following a heart attack.

· Magnesium is required for the metabolism of carbohydrates, proteins and fats, as well as activity related to calcium, phosphorus, and vitamin C.

· It is vital for the health of nervous and muscular tissues throughout the body.

· Magnesium helps to bind calcium to tooth enamel, thus creating a barrier to tooth decay

MANGANESE

Manganese is a co-factor that aids in the activation of a wide variety of enzymes. Manganese-containing enzymes influence many biological activities, including the synthesis of collagen, protein, mucopolysaccharides (which are necessary for the growth and maintenance of connective tissue and cartilage). It works in conjunction with vitamin K in the synthesis of prothrombin and the regulation of blood clotting. It is also necessary for normal bone growth and the metabolism of amino acids. This important mineral is involved with the production of dopamine and melanin, the synthesis of fatty acids and thyroxine, the principal hormone of the thyroid gland.

CALCIUM

Calcium is the most abundant mineral in the human body. Average healthy males contain about 2.5 to 3 pounds of calcium while females contain about 2 pounds. Approximately 99 percent of calcium is present in the bones and teeth, which leaves only about one percent in cells and body fluids.

Although only a small amount of calcium is in the blood, the body goes to great lengths to maintain blood-calcium levels within a relatively narrow range. Three regulatory mechanisms control blood-calcium. If levels drop too low, intestinal calcium absorption can increase, calcium can be released from bones, and/or the kidneys reduce calcium excretion.

· Calcium is important in the development and maintenance of healthy bones and teeth.

· Need is greatest during periods of rapid growth including childhood, pregnancy, and lactation.

· Muscle Contraction: Helps to initiate muscle contractions. As such, it plays a vital role in the contraction-relaxation cycle that regulates a normal heartbeat.

· Nerve Transmission: Plays a role in the regulation and transmission of nerve impulses.

PHOSPHOROUS

Phosphorous, following calcium, is the second most abundant mineral in the human body. Approximately 80 percent of phosphorus is present in the skeleton while the other 20 percent is very active metabolically and plays a role in the metabolism of every cell in the body. Phosphorus participates in more biological processes than any other mineral. Phosphorus, along with calcium, forms insoluble calcium phosphate crystals, which provide the strength and rigidity in bones and teeth. It is necessary for ATP (energy production in the cells), and for all cellular reproduction and protein synthesis. Unlike calcium, phosphorus is also an integral part of the structure of soft tissues. As part of phospholipids, such as phosphatidylcholine, it is a component of all cellular membranes. Phospholipids aid in transporting other lipids throughout the body and across cellular membranes.

ZINC

Zinc is necessary for the functioning of over 300 different enzymes and, as such, it plays a vital role in an enormous number of biological processes. Zinc is widely distributed in microorganisms, plants, and animals. In humans, the highest concentrations of zinc are found in the liver, pancreas, kidneys, bone, and muscles. Zinc is highly concentrated in parts of the eye, prostate gland, sperm, skin, hair, and nails.
Anti-viral Activity: Although its mechanism is not known at this time, zinc apparently possesses antiviral activity.
Antioxidant: Cofactor for the antioxidant enzyme Zn/Cu superoxide dismutase.
Immune System: Helps regulate a wide variety of immune system activities, including T-lymphocytes, CD4, natural killer cells, and interleukin II.
Insulin Activity: Is a component of insulin and recently was discovered to be a regulator of insulin activity.
Sensory Perceptions: Involved in sensory perceptions of taste, smell and vision. Necessary for salt-taste perception, dark adaptation, and night vision.
Serum Vitamin A Levels: Controls the release of stored vitamin A from the liver.
Sexual Function: Zinc is necessary for the maturation of sperm, for ovulation, and for fertilization.
Thyroid: Promotes the conversion of thyroxine to triiodothyronine.
Wound Healing: Facilitates wound healing, especially in burns, surgical,(5) and other types of scars.

POTASSIUM

Potassium is one of the body’s three major electrolytes (the other two being sodium and chloride). They exist as fully dissociated ions and are the main particles responsible for osmotic pressure in body fluids. Potassium is the primary electrolyte functioning inside cells throughout the body. These substances are called electrolytes because they carry an electronic charge in their dissociated (ionic) state. Their ionic strength enables them to influence the solubility of proteins and other substances throughout the body. Potassium is one of the main electrolytes that helps control pH levels in body fluids and it regulates electrical activity, which in turn, regulates the activity of muscle and nerve cells and the beating of the heart.

ALPHA LIPOIC ACID

Alpha lipoic acid is one of the most powerful antioxidants ever discovered. It is a vitamin-like sulfur-containing compound that is synthesized naturally in the human body. Sometimes it is referred to as alpha-lipoate, thioctic acid, or just lipoic acid. One of its most important characteristics is that it is both fat-soluble and water-soluble. This enables it to provide antioxidant protection in a much wider range of physiological environments throughout the body, which has resulted in some scientists referring to alpha-lipoic acid as the "universal" antioxidant. It helps reduce the toxicity from toxic metals such as mercury, cadmium, and lead. It is also able to form stable complexes with copper, manganese, and zinc ions. It enables the recycling of antioxidants such as vitamin C, vitamin E, glutathione, and coenzyme Q10 in the body and it Increases glucose uptake into muscle cells.

BORON

Boron is a trace mineral that has been recognized as an essential nutrient for plants for more than fifty years, but its essentiality in humans was not discovered until the mid-1980s. The highest concentration of boron in humans is found in bones and dental enamel. It helps convert vitamin D to its more active form, which means it indirectly facilitates in the absorption of calcium and the prevention of bone loss and plays an important role I the metabolism of magnesium. Boron is one of the minerals that are necessary for the development of healthy bone tissue, and it apparently plays a role in the prevention of osteoporosis. It also has a regulatory effect on the production of estrogens and testosterone.

GREEN TEA EXTRACT

Made from unfermented leaves and is reputed to contain the highest concentration of polyphenals, chemicals that act as powerful antioxidants.

Green Tea Extract is associated with several health benefits including potential cancer fighting properties, and a strong antioxidant effect that protects the body from the damaging effect of free radicals. Green tea has been used for medicinal purposes in India and China for nearly 5,000 years. The active ingredients in green tea extract are polyphenols in the form of flavonoids like catechins andepigallocatechin gallate (EGCG). Polyphenols, flavonoids, catechins and EGCG are powerful antioxidants. Green tea extract can also be beneficial in improving cardiovascular circulation by reducing LDL or “bad cholesterol,” suppressing appetite and improving oxidation of fat.

LUTEIN

Lutein is a member of the carotenoid family, which are naturally occurring fat-soluble pigments found in plants. Lutein specifically concentrates in the macula, which is a small area in the center of the retina in the eye. The macula lies directly behind the lens and is the area of the eye that receives the most light. Lutein protects the macula by filtering out potentially damaging forms of light. Thus, lutein is associated with protection from various diseases of the eyes, especially age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in older adults.

· Lutein protects the eyes by neutralizing oxygen free-radicals and singlet oxygen, which are generated in the retina as a consequence of the simultaneous presence of light and oxygen.

· Lutein filters out blue light, which can cause photodamage and contribute to the progression of macular degeneration if it is excessive.

· Recent research also indicates that Lutein may help prevent cardiovascular disease.

· Lutein may enhance immune function.

LYCOPENE

Lycopene is a member of the family of phytochemicals called carotenoids. It is the substance that gives tomatoes and several other fruits their deep red color. Some studies report that Lycopene may enhance various aspects of cellular and non-cellular immunity.

· Lycopene is an Antioxidant: Acts as a free radical scavenger.

· Lycopene's antioxidants have been found to lower the risk of prostate, breast, lung, gastrointestinal, cervical, bladder and endometrial cancer cells.

· It has been reported that Lycopene protects the skin against ultraviolet light-induced erythemia caused by photo oxidation.

ZEAXANTHIN

Zeaxanthin is one of two carotenoids that occur at high levels in the retina of the eyes, the other being lutein. These compounds are closely related and when they are found in plants, they both seem to occur together. For this reason, zeaxanthin and lutein are often discussed together, and in fact they are sometimes referred to as lutein-zeaxanthin. In one study, researchers reported that humans are capable of converting some lutein they have ingested into zeaxanthin.

· Absorb the potentially harmful blue-violet wavelengths of light energy that come into the eye

· Function as antioxidant.

GRAPE SKIN EXTRACT

Red grape skins contain an array of bioflavonoids (quercetin, catechins, flavonols, and anthocyanidins) and nonbioflavonoid polyphenols (acid derivatives). One important nonbioflavonoid in grape skin is called resveratrol. Resveratrol is a plant-specific enzyme that exists in 72 plant species, such as grapes, peanuts, and pine trees. Grapes are the most abundant source of this health-promoting enzyme.

ACAI

The acai berry is an inch-long reddish, purple fruit. It comes from the acai palm tree (Euterpe oleracea), which is native to Central and South America. It is a relative of the blueberry, cranberry, and other dark purple fruits.

The word anthocyanin comes from two Greek words meaning “plant” and “blue.” Anthocyanins are responsible for the red, purple, and blue hues in many fruits, vegetables, and flowers. Foods that are richest in anthocyanins -- such as blueberries, red grapes, red wine, and acai -- are very strongly colored, ranging from deep purple to black.

Anthocyanins and flavonoids are powerful antioxidants that help defend the body against life's stressors. They also play a role in the body's cell protection system. Free radicals are harmful byproducts produced by the body. Eating a diet rich in antioxidants may interfere with aging and the disease process by neutralizing free radicals.

Xen's Dream Blog

In this dream, I am in Walmart, specifically. I had to meet my narcissist ex-boyfriend to purchase something for him. The only reason I can think of, that I would have to buy this man anything is because someone was in dire need, ie, they would die, or be harmed horribly if I turned him, or his family down. His mother is a senior in advanced years, and at the moment he lives off her pension, so I can only imagine that either his mother, or his child needed something dearly.

He owes me thousands of dollars in rent (he never paid), usage of my vehicle (that he never financed), and of course my precious, precious time (which he could never make up for). I supported him and his family for more than a year, and it took me what seemed like forever to crawl out from under his grasp.

Anyway, so I'm there in Walmart, and buying something for them. For some reason, I allowed him to take my credit card and swipe it through the machine for me at the POS. (Of course I would probably never do this, but this is a nightmare after all.) After that I am in the back of the store with his Mom, and for some reason I'm looking at kitchen wares. I see him come up behind me with a cart full of goods. Of course, I then realize that he's used my card to buy hundreds of dollars worth of goods.

This is the crazy part though. At this point, he argues with me about how his daughter really needs an $80 robe, and his mother really needs this espresso machine, and I actually start to argue back at him with an honest, and well reasoned argument. I finally manage to get my card away from him, and then I go and cry in the car, because he wouldn't take the things back, and I can not psychically force him to return all the goods that he's purchased. I panic and check my online status on my bank account, and then I wake up.

The worst part of this is that when I wake up, I realize that THIS WAS MY ACTUAL LIFE. Until April of this year, I was constantly being robbed, abused, taken advantage of, and I felt powerless to fight back any of it. Why? Because he seemed to think that it was okay to do this to me. He even hurt me, and then denied he'd ever done it. His mother and children didn't have a problem with it. After all, they were the ones I was giving money and gifts to via him. While I have friends, or family that I could take to about this, I didn't want to, and that's the most important part of this story.

Why couldn't I talk to anyone? It's simple. If you have someone constantly robbing you, taking advantage of you, abusing and torturing you, who is the person who can stop it? That's right. It's just you. You've let them compromise you on so many little things, and then it slowly escalates to the point where they are straight up robbing you on a daily basis.

So, you can't tell people that: 1. You're brilliant, but also dumb enough to let someone do this to you. 2. The reasons why you're trapped in that situation. (For me, he threatened me with a squatters rights lawsuit if I tried to get him out of my house.) 3. How you are dumb enough to let someone abuse you horribly, period. 4. You feel horribly guilty if you throw someone out on the street. 5. Why you can't leave your home, and all you've invested in it. 6. Starting this conversation with almost anyone will end with them giving you a ton or advice, belittling you, or giving you even more guilt, because you've allowed it to happen. 7. Every time you think about it or talk about it, it exhausts you, leaving you with an even higher stress level than if you didn't.

Therefore, it's just easier not to talk to anyone, and thus you tend to isolate yourself even further. When you do finally snap, and get talking to someone, it just makes you feel worse about yourself, because you realize in the telling of the story that you really are the only one to blame, and that you got yourself into that relationship. If he finds out you spoke to someone, there is hell to pay and more abuse, but it's even worse, because you did it to yourself. You feel like you shouldn't have told anyone. There is no one to blame, but yourself.

Therein lies the trap! This is the trap of the narcissist, and this is how a con artist operates. A person who has very few morals, but all the time in the world will find ways to manipulate even the brightest, most grounded, but caring individuals. They'll find someone who's even pretty good looking, and then find ways to lower their self esteem, so that they're easier to control. It's not your fault! It is all them, and you are a toy that they play with. You are their job. (This is made more insane by the fact that it matters to them not if you are a single mom, disabled, or have personal limitations.) A severe narcissist, or psychopath do not care who they are taking advantage of. They will do it to anyone.

I will write more later, but you get the basic gist here. I was easy prey. I made myself easy prey by keeping my life pretty basic, and private for a long time. If you are facing anything like this, you can contact me, and I won't judge you. We have actually all been there. Some have just had more trouble than others. Thus ends my first story, and my first dream telling. It's a warning, and a message. Those disordered people are out there, and they are just waiting for you to come along.

Xen Dream Journal - Entry 1

In this dream, I am in Walmart, specifically. I had to meet my narcissist ex-boyfriend to purchase something for him. The only reason I can think of, that I would have to buy this man anything is because someone was in dire need, ie, they would die, or be harmed horribly if I turned him, or his family down. His mother is a senior in advanced years, and at the moment he lives off her pension, so I can only imagine that either his mother, or his child needed something dearly.

He owes me thousands of dollars (for various living costs), and of course my precious, precious time (which he could never make up for). I supported him and his family for more than a year, and it took me what seemed like forever to crawl out from under his grasp.

Anyway, so I'm there in Walmart, and buying something for them. For some reason, I allowed him to take my credit card and swipe it through the machine for me at the POS. (Of course I would probably never do this, but this is a nightmare after all.) After that I am in the back of the store with his Mom, and for some reason I'm looking at kitchen wares. I see him come up behind me with a cart full of goods. Of course, I then realize that he's used my card to buy hundreds of dollars worth of goods.

This is the crazy part though. At this point, he argues with me about how his daughter really needs an $80 robe, and his mother really needs this espresso machine, and I actually start to argue back at him with an honest, and well reasoned argument. I finally manage to get my card away from him, and then I go and cry in the car, because he won't take the things back, and I can not psychically force him to return all the goods that he's purchased. I panic and check my online status on my bank account, and then I wake up.

The worst part of this is that when I wake up, I realize that THIS WAS MY ACTUAL LIFE. Until April of this year, I was constantly being robbed, abused, taken advantage of, and I felt powerless to fight back. Why? After manipulating me to such a degree,  he always attempted to take it a step further.  His phone was turned off, so I had to buy a new plan and include him and his mother in it (for some reason). He even hurt me, and then denied he'd ever done it. While I have friends, or family that I could talk to about this, doing so was torture.  I didn't want to, and that's the most important part of my story.

Why couldn't I talk to anyone? It's simple. If you have someone constantly abusing you, who is the person who can stop it? That's right. It's just you. You've let them compromise you on so many little things, and then it slowly escalates to the point where they are straight up robbing you on a daily basis. You're holding onto that tiny piece of self esteem. 

So, you can't tell people that: 1. You're brilliant, but also dumb enough to let someone do this to you. 2. The reasons why you're trapped in that situation. (For me, he threatened me with squatters rights or stealing my car. He did steal it by the way.) 3. How you are dumb enough to let someone abuse you like this. 4. You feel guilty if you someone has no phone/ car or is out on the street. 5. Starting this conversation with almost anyone will end with them giving you a ton or advice, belittling you, or giving you even more guilt, because you've allowed it to happen. 6. When you do tell someone, it just makes you feel worse about yourself. In the retelling of the story, you really are the only one to blame, and you got yourself into this situation. 7. Then, if he finds out you spoke to someone, there is hell to pay and more abuse, but it's even worse, because you did it to yourself. You feel like you shouldn't have told anyone. 8. Every time you think about it or talk about it, it exhausts you, leaving you with an even higher stress level than if you hadn't said anything.

You blame yourself entirely. Thus, you tend to isolate yourself even further. 

Therein lies the trap! This is the trap of the narcissist, and this is how a con artist operates. A person who has very few morals, but all the time in the world will find ways to manipulate even the brightest, most grounded, but caring individuals. They'll find someone who's even pretty good looking, and then find ways to lower their self esteem, so that they're easier to control. They dominate your time so you can't even think. If you did take time away,  even a few days,  the clouds might begin to part. They can't have that.  You can't be allowed to think clearly.  

I'm here to tell you that it's not your fault! It is all them, and you are a toy that they play with. You are their job. (This is made more insane by the fact that it matters to them not if you are a single mom, disabled, or have personal limitations.) A severe narcissist, or psychopath do not care who they are taking advantage of. They will do it to anyone.

I made myself easy prey by keeping my life pretty basic, and private for a long time. If you are facing anything like this, you can contact me, and I won't judge you. We have actually all been there. Some have just had more trouble than others. Thus ends my first story, and my first dream telling. It's a warning, and a message. Those disordered people are out there, and they are just waiting for you to come along.